Realization. Priorities.

This last week, this first week of the year….has been amazing! And it is so painfully obvious why….

My goals have been at the front of my mind. And I’ve been doing them. In my “free time”, I have been doing things I actually enjoy and care about, as opposed to doing some cop-out-I-just-want-to-lay-here-and-not-function-for-as-long-as-possible….. I haven’t allowed myself to get caught up in the difficulties of being a home keeper and mother. Or the ease of letting my brain unwind while watching one (ahem…two…three….) episodes of Alias (recent addiction, thanks to Amazon Prime…)….

The craziest part…I have been energetic. And I have been going to bed at about 2am every night in order to do it all….

The magical solution to all of my life problems? Putting my Faith First and prioritizing my priorities!

Some of you may be reading this with one eyebrow raised because of the obviousness (I’m lookin at you General Conference speakers)….but I am so happy to have finally taken this “life secret” to heart! I can surely say I will think twice before skipping out on meaningful prayers and concentrated scripture study. And something that really sets me free--- journal writing. My chance to calm down and reflect on what the day was really about. The moments had, the lessons learned. Pondering in what way it can all be done better, or even repeated the next day.

And after the kids go to bed, writing in my book, learning new songs on the guitar, working on many other new year goal I made, using my talents, it is the most fulfilling thing next to being a mother and a wife. 

Besides priorities, I think its really helps me a lot putting my thoughts out there for the world to see, things I can’t back down from, not once I’ve committed to them in front of the world (or to ya know, the world as far as this blog and the small # of people that read it! Yay for you!).

When I say I’ve put my priorities first, that in no way means I’ve put my children or duties as a mother second. It means that somehow, when I balance everything the way it should be balanced, everything else just falls into place….its like…my daily clock has slowed down, allowing me to squeeze more into it…

But I’m not talking about squeezing more into it in a way that I’m pushing myself too far. I mean. I’ve had so much more quality time with my family. Its because when I’m playing with them, I’m present. My mind isn’t wondering when I’m possibly going to find the time to do things I know I need for self progression.

And at the “end of the day”, when little bodies are bathed, snuggled, and tucked in tight…. when the evidence of imaginative, magic-believing little people’s playfulness has been cleaned up and stored for tomorrows adventures…. when spilled milk has been wiped up and thrown pieces of bread taken away from the impending threat of ants…… I have still had time do these things.

You know that feeling you get sometimes (or for some of us, all the time) when you feel guilt at the end of the day for the things you didn’t accomplish, even when you were crazy busy all day? But maybe you didn’t pick the right things to be crazy busy with or didn’t do them efficiently enough? But really, maybe you’r daily clock can’t slow down because all you can think about it the things you wish you had more time to do ….. Were you really PRESENT for the most precious people in your life???

I haven’t had that at all this week.

Its magical, and I have no intention of letting it fade.

Somehow in my letting the “things that make my soul sing” slip by the wayside, these pictures never saw the light of day! Taken by me dear and talented friend Lori over a year ago! Look at my babies!!

Christmas Day

^^^I knew you would all want a family picture of us with Mike and I kissing^^^

Then we were so fortunate to join with friends for a lovely Christmas dinner. Here are just a few pix from the evening at their home:

Atlas asked for one thing this Christmas, for the last three months. A Ninja Turtle Skateboard. He even told Santa when he sat on his lap. And then Santa said, “well you make sure to clean up your toys Christmas eve so that I don’t trip on anything”. And it was so sweet that Atlas remembered this and made sure to tidy up after he set out the cinnamon rolls for santa (yumm!) and the carrots for Rudolf.
When I was a child, and found out there was no Santa Claus, I was shattered. I thought I would never enjoy Christmas the same again. 
Then I had children.
And then I realized how utterly wrong I was.
And now, creating the magic for them, encouraging them to see this world for what it wants to be, and not for what us hard hearted, practical, pessimistic, imperfect adult humans of this world have MADE it to be…. it is a magical place. This world wants to be a magical place, but we drag it down….
Seeing it through their eyes, I realized that I couldn’t have experienced the fullness of the Magic of childhood until I had lived both sides of it- through my own eyes as a child, and then through my children’s eyes, as a mother.
I’m realizing more and more every day why the Lord commanded us to multiply, we cannot experience the fullness of life until we give our own life to these innocent, magic-believing little souls….

We were so blessed by many loved ones, I was continually shocked by all of the kind, loving gifts we were so blessed to unwrap Christmas morning and even in the days before Christmas. I won’t list them all, but everyone please do know, you truly blessed our Christmas!

Here is what Mike and I did for the kids-
-Urban would not get out of this little car even to open a present or have some candy. Thus, we all sat around this little car most of the morning showing things to urban and giving her presents to unwrap without having to leave her precious little vehicle. Adorable. And since then, she spends most of the day that we are at the house stuffing as many stuffed animals as she can fit into the car, and little shelf of a trunk, then trying to climb in/sit on all of her little passengers, and then cruising around, but mostly sitting there in park, because its still kinda hard to go and all of her little friends fall out when she moves :). PERFECT, last minute gift given to us by friends whose child had outgrown it. It was just perfect. Atlas loves it as well, even if he does just barely fit.
-Mike made them a puppet stage and we gave them several nice puppets in addition to many we already had. We put on several impromptu puppet shows, the kids couldn’t be cuter standing/sitting right in front of the stage, talking back to the puppets, interacting, laughing, loving it.
-Mike gave the kids and I quite the surprise! For the last few days he had been slaving in his “office” “fixing the ceiling” (a major plumbing issue had left a large gap in the ceiling among other problems)….We were given strict instruction NOT to EVER EVER open the door because of “toxic chemicals” and yadda yadda. So when he opened the door for us to a bright, cheery, painted, new CRAFT/FUN room….we were all shocked! He gave up his office for us to have this beautiful, perfect space to do crafts, reading, learning, playing, whatever our hearts desire it to be! I have so many plans and can’t wait to share what we’ve already done!

I have so many more pictures and videos that I would love to share from our Christmas season, but I’d like to think I’ve gotten over the “stress out about documenting” phase of being a mother and so you know what….there is some Grammy Winning adorable material I’ve got that just might never really see the light of day. But the memories will live on in my heart forever.

Noon Years Eve & Resolutions

We went to a super fun party at a community library nearby called “Noon Years Eve” (am I the only one bothered by the nonsensicality of the name? And is nonsensicality even a word?!) Well let me tell you, little kids know how to party! It did get pretty crazy at the countdown to noon and the balloon drop…I lost sight of my 3 year old for an extended period of time, and my smaller child was clutching my body in fear of all of the noisemakers and kids going crazy trying to grab balloons and stomping on bubble wrap. But amidst all of the fair type games and fun crafts and fun music, my mommy friend and I realized, this is as party as new years eve is going to get for us mommies! Downing half filled cups of sprite and shaking rice-filled-cups-taped-together noisemakers as we count down to mid-day at the library. I do love the life of a momma! I’m glad we were able to do something to help our little kids capture the excitement of a New Year.

^^^Urban’s favorite little buddy^^^

I don’t usually make resolutions at New Years, because I’ve always thought, shouldn’t I be thinking of ways to be better like….always? I’m working on things to make myself a better person always. But, I never really give myself deadlines, or set measurable goals. And its occurred to me, this is kind of cool. The entire rest of the world (mostly…I assume…I guess…), is alive with energy to be better, to try harder, for a bright NEW YEAR, with hope, for love, believing in a better world if only the people occupying this planet can be better. And I was thinking that I’d like to add to that energy, and you know, 365 days is a good “check in” plan. Concrete. So I’ll keep my non concrete goals coming and going throughout the year, and I want to set a few concrete goals for this one year. Measurable goals with a deadline.

So I’m going to be crazy, really put myself out there, and post these for the world to see and hold me to. If anybody else out there is doing one of these too, let me know and we can bug each other about them!

My 2014 New Years Resolutions

AKA - my measurable goals that I am setting a deadline for (vs. my day-to-day non measurable goals that are ongoing…like…ya know…be more patient when Atlas is disobedient, assume the best in people, fight my negative inner voice with optimism...etc., etc…. Ongoing goals.)

Read the entire Book of Mormon
Read the scriptures and write in my journal every day
Conquer at least one thing I have previously failed at
Do a public musical performance at least once this year
Write 100 pages in my book
Give yoga a real chance
A House of Order: “a place for everything and everything in its place” –> Get there
Put together 3 months of food storage
Get back on the Real Food wagon
Be more thoughtful about the movies/music Urban takes in

And then Mike and I have a few goals together as well, as a family, that helps us progress together and feel unified.

And I could talk your face off about each individual goal on my list here and what it means to me and my plans to fulfilling it, and I can also almost promise you that I will, one by one throughout the year, talk your face off about them. That’s the great thing about having a blog and feeling like I can be open about voicing these things….if anybody is bored or bothered by what I say, they don’t have to read it! Yay! Which means that it means even more to me that whoever out there that is reading any of my ramblings cares at all :-).

I am so excited for 2014!!!

P.S. I see goals and resolutions as a plan to not regret the way we spent this life. To not feel like we were sleep walking, passively letting life pass us by. Here is one of my very favorite people talking about living a life with no regrets.

P.P.S…..today Atlas insisted on writing a letter to Santa Claus (his writing is scribbling, pretending he’s writing). It read: “Dear Santa Claus, did you have a good day doing Christmas?”